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      当前位置: 个性说说 > 搞笑说说 >

      20则笑话大全 笑破你的肚子

      时间:2014-04-02 17:05来源:个性说说网 作者:海底金鱼点击:

      1,一姑娘向一小伙子小伙子求婚,小伙羞怯的说:我的鸡鸡有点小,姑娘问:有蘑菇大吗?小伙答:有!新婚之夜姑娘冲出新房,仰天长叹!天哪!金针菇!.....

      2、某贫困村发补助款,一老汉问:这是什么钱?村长说:这是一次性生活补助。老汉惊喜惊喜贪领款而去。次日,老汉弯腰扶墙来找村长说:“今天我要五次性生活补助!”

      3、某公司招聘员工,几百名大学生争相自报家门:“我北大”“我交大”“我浙大”突然有一女生喊道:“我胸大!”董事长一拍桌子说:“就是你了!”

      4、局长家宴,小姨子帮忙端菜,一客人打赌说,你把姨妹的奶摸一下我喝一杯酒,结果双方真兑现了诺言,没料小姨子说,姐夫,你就把手一直放在上面,喝死他!

      5、一主持人提问选手:“用伟哥的目的是什么?女选手思考很久答:想不出来!主持即说:恭喜你答对了。观众一处议论:回答太精辟了!

      20则笑话大全 笑破你的肚子

      6、老师在农村扫盲让一农妇认“被子”两字,农妇想不起来,老师提示:睡觉时你身上是什么?农妇说是老公。老师哭笑不得:老公不在的时候呢?农妇:是村长!

      7、生产队杀鹅过年,队长写通知,把鹅字写得较散,变成:“下午男人杀我鸟,女人拔我鸟毛,晚上男人老少都来吃我鸟肉!也可以吃我鸟蛋!”

      8、女副处长陪同处长参加宴请,席间处长说:“处长一般都干过副处长!”众人瞠目!女副处长机智道:“准确的说处长都是副处长生(升)的。”

      9.有两只母鸡,主人喜欢白的,因为白的鸡下的蛋比黑的鸡下的蛋大,多卖5分钱.主人问黑鸡为什么不下贵点的蛋,黑鸡答:傻B才为5分钱把屁眼撑那么大呢!

      10.两个玉米粒结婚了,第二天早晨,男玉米粒醒来发现身边躺着爆米花,就奇怪地问:我媳妇哪?爆米花含羞的答:一炮把人家崩开了,就不认识人家了!

      11.夫妻因贫困一天没吃饭,晚上老婆提出做三次爱就当吃三餐,丈夫同意.第二天丈夫感觉头晕目眩,走路扶墙.便自语:乖乖,日B不光能当饭吃还能当酒喝啊!

      12.少女诉苦:年轻人快是快,提起裤子就耍赖,亏死了!中年人好是好,一次按照两次搞,累死了!老年人慢是慢,搞完还要掰开看,羞死了!

      13.一司机拉客,问乘客去哪,客答:生命的尽头.司机不解又问.客说:操,火葬场都不知道.司机不悦骂道:多亏去生命尽头,要是去生命源头还得往你妈B里开啊!

      14.一富婆招男伎,为达到预期效果,便把清凉油涂在避孕套内,一阵云雨过后.男伎感叹道:靠,有钱人就是不一样啊,B里都装了空调!

      15、夫妻离婚争孩子,老婆理直气壮说:“孩子从我肚子里出来的,当然归我!”老公说:“笑话!简直是胡说八道。取款机里取出来的钱能归取款机吗?还不是谁插卡归谁!? 16、刚从朋友家出来,我看见他裤子拉链没拉上,于是提醒说:你的门没关。

      他回头一看,若无其事的说:没事,我爸在里面!

      17、有一天,我和家人坐着面包车去县城,在经过一个写着“种羊”两个字的广告牌时,我姐突然问了一句“羊是种出来的么?”

      18、民间招牌:最牛X卖烧鸡的——禽始皇。

      最牛X搞电焊的——焊武帝

      最牛X卖冰糖葫芦的——糖太宗。

      最牛X卖馒头的——容馍馍。

      最牛X卖卤肉的——卤智深。

      最牛X卖门帘的——攀金莲。

      最牛X搞婚庆的——喜门庆。

      最牛X卖伟哥的——史进。

      19、大到世界风云,小到吃饭拉屎,任何一条新闻都可以引起中国网民的对骂,唯独上黄色论坛的网民素质高,从来没见过骂人的,全部是:楼主 辛苦了,谢谢楼主,楼主好人一生平安.

      20、一次一个女同事过来对我说:我要上传!(我的电脑是公司负责网页更新上传的)我说:你上床关我什么事情!她很恼火的说:我就是要上传,我要,我要,你今天不让我上传,我就不理你了,哼!看她那愤怒的样子,我只好说:好吧!是你自己动手还是我帮你?”她回答:“你帮我吧!”....(笑了就转给朋友看看吧)

      相关阅读:
      关于爱情甜美的爆笑笑话大全
      让你笑破肚皮搞笑说说段子
      笑到停不下来段子:不想养猫猫狗狗想养你,毕竟养猪致富
      55句吐槽天气热的笑话大全:从今天开始,我不再是单身狗,而是热狗!
      高调秀恩爱搞笑版:余生不用多指教 你都听我的就好
      ------分隔线----------------------------
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